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From Texts From Last Night…

(541):

my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests

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From Texts From Last Night…

(510):

he said he didn’t have a condom.

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From Texts From Last Night…

(301):

Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass

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From Texts From Last Night…

(678):

Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?

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From Texts From Last Night…

(757):

At McDonald’s last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, “YOU MCFUCKED UP.”

http://textsfromlastnight.com/Text-Replies-13535.html

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From “Texts From Last Night”

(860):

You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs

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From Texts From Last Night…

(303):

So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher

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From Texts From Last Night

(865):

He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.

http://textsfromlastnight.com/Text-Replies-35401.html