my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
he said he didn’t have a condom.
and you said?
that that’s fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can’t be explained over text man
At McDonald’s last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, “YOU MCFUCKED UP.”
http://textsfromlastnight.com/Text-Replies-13535.html
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
http://textsfromlastnight.com/Text-Replies-35401.html
It's fun to share.
santamoomin:
thosewhoshowup: So my school has this thing called the “Condom Fairy”. You just go to the Student Health website and state...
thosewhoshowup:
So my school has this thing called the “Condom Fairy”. You just go to the Student Health website and state...
my house! pictures included of my host mom and her granddaughter, plus the birds, plus the tortoise, plus the garden. the whole house is corridors...
kwcwradio:
During her year on the Watson Fellowship, former Whitman Student Aisha Fukushima...
wooooo
animalstalkinginallcaps:
EVERYBODY, STOP WALKING. NOBODY MOVE FOR A MINUTE. I DROPPED MY NOSE. LOOK DOWN BY YOUR FEET. IT’S GOT TO BE AROUND...
EVERYBODY, STOP WALKING. NOBODY MOVE FOR A MINUTE.
I DROPPED MY NOSE.
LOOK DOWN BY YOUR FEET. IT’S GOT TO BE AROUND...
stfuhypocrisy:
jenerally: What if the trans* person beaten to death could have cured...
jenerally:
What if the trans* person beaten to death could have cured...